How Lame
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Its pizza night at Tyson's dojo and the boys share jokes with each other. Things get nasty when Tyson challenges Kai to a joke-off.


**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

How Lame

**Summary**

Its pizza night at Tyson's dojo and the boys share jokes with each other. Things get nasty when Tyson challenges Kai to a joke-off.

**.**

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours?" Max asked. He was seated on the leather couch, holding a pizza in his hand.

Kai frowned. "I don't know Max, what do you call cheese that isn't yours?" It was a difficult question to answer.

"NACHO CHEESE!" Max yelled, throwing his piece of pizza high up into the air. It fell back down and landed on the floor, but Max didn't care. He was too busy slapping his knees laughing hysterically at his 'awesome' joke.

Kai threw his head back and laughed loudly. What a wonderful joke! What genius! Surely, Max had the makings of a highly talented comedian. "That was great Max!" He leaned back in his chair, enjoying the sensation of sinking. The chair was incredibly soft and very comfortable. "That was even better than my joke."

Tyson dropped the paper cup in his hand. "You told a joke?" Unbelievable! "I didn't know you had a sense of humour." Well, it was true. Kai only made jokes when he was completely wasted. Like now.

"That's because you don't know me as well as you think," Kai replied, slurring slightly. "I tell jokes all the times, isn't that right Rei?" He glanced at the Chinese beyblader who was busy trying to square dance.

Needless to say, it wasn't turning out to well at all. Rei too had been drinking. "What was the joke Kai?" Instead of actual square dancing, Rei was running around in squares trying to river dance. According to him, it was exactly the same as square dancing. Nevertheless, it was a display of such elegance, even Tyson and Max felt tempted to join in.

Kai stuck out his chest and wriggled in his seat. He took in a deep breath and shared his joke with his lovely wonderful friends. "It's a very dirty joke; I don't think I should say it."

The only sane member of the group was Kenny, but then again, the boy was always sane. He watched from the far corner of the room, occasionally peeking up from behind his screen to observe the boys. "Should I cover my ears?" Kenny asked. He didn't want his ears to hear dirty words. He didn't want his young virgin mind to be scarred for life.

The other members of the team watched Kai with wide eyes. Max even trembled in anticipation! Kai drew in another deep breath and spoke. It was a joke he really loved. In fact, he had used it many times before and so had his fellow friends from the B-Boys. ""The boy fell in the mud!" All was silent. Until...

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" laughed Tyson.

"HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!" giggled Max.

Rei simply snorted in his pizza. Quite disgusting really, but no one cared. They were all drunk. "That was a good joke Kai."

Tyson placed his hands on his hips and flashed his pearly whites. "I've got a pretty awesome joke myself."

"What is it Tyson?" said Max.

"Yeah, share it!" Rei urged.

"It can't be as good as mine," Kai replied. He was the joke master.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Max, Kai and Rei groaned. "To get to the other side!"

Tyson dropped his mouth open in shock. How the hell did they guess that? "How did you know that?"

Rei rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows that one Tyson. At least come up with something original." He turned to face Kai. "Like Kai, he came up with a good one."

Kai stuck out his tongue at Tyson and wiggled it. "I am awesome."

The champion beyblader could do nothing but stare in silence. Kai was just too awesome to comprehend. "Well... you only came up with one joke. I'm sure you can't come up with another wicked joke."

"Is that a challenge? You can't possibly win. Your sides are too wide, your head is too big and your brain is too small. You will not defeat me," said Kai.

Tyson pretended to be hurt by Kai's terrible words. "You are just jealous because you do not have the required physique to defeat me in a joke telling competition. Everyone knows you must have big sides, a big head and small brain to win."

"That made no sense at all," said Kenny, watching the two boys glare at each other. What was meant to be a peaceful pizza night was turning into a fight. Pizzas were going to be thrown. He needed shelter and quick, before things got messy. He stood up from the floor and hurried into his room to pick up a black plastic bag with little holes.

Kai hated to admit it, but Tyson was right. He did not have the right requirements to become an ultimate joke teller, but he would not let Tyson have the satisfaction knowing he was right. At least his jokes were better than Tyson's; that had to count for something. "Those characteristics will not take you far in life fat clueless one," Kai said. He sneered, a sneer worthy of the great Boris himself. Tyson, Max and Rei trembled in fear. He was truly intimidating!

"Tyson, I think you should back down from the challenge," Rei said, tugging on Tyson's jacket sleeve. "He really means business." He pointed to the pillow case lying on the couch. "Look, he even brought his cape."

Whenever Kai meant business, he always put on his pillow case cape on. Kai smirked, turned around and grabbed his pillow case and attached it to his shirt. "You crossed the line Tyson, and now you're going to have to pay. Turn the fan on Rei."

Rei obliged and walked over to the fan and turned it on. The gust created by the fan caused Kai's 'cape' to blow in the wind. To add to the dramatic effect, Kai placed his hands on his hips and turned his nose up in the air. "What superhero are you meant to be?" Max asked, completely mesmerized by Kai's awesomeness.

"I am... The Incredible Joke Teller Man!"

At this moment, Kenny returned completely covered in a black rubbish bag. Only two holes located where the eyes where, allowed him to see exactly what was happening. "More like the incredible lame man..." he muttered then giggled at his brilliance. He ought to be the one telling jokes, not those two nutters.

"Ok, tell a joke Tyson!" Rei said.

"What do you get when you cross The Biggest Loser with So You Think You Can Dance?" Kai asked. "So You Think You're a Big Loser!"

Rei held eight fingers and two thumbs in the air. "A perfect ten!"

Max clapped his hands together excitedly. He too gave Kai a perfect ten. "Incredible!"

Kenny sighed. "How pathetic."

Now it was Tyson's turn again. "What did one farmer say to the other farmer?" He paused briefly, allowing the suspense to thicken. "We're farmers!"

Both Rei and Max shook their heads in disappointment. "That wasn't funny at all Tyson, no fingers and no thumbs," said Rei.

Max gave Tyson an apologetic look. "Sorry man, but that wasn't very good at all."

If this was all Tyson had to offer, this competition was over already. Kai puffed himself up again and shared his next joke. "A man walks into a bar, OUCH!"

Rei and Max exchanged high-fives. Kai was truly a master! Who knew the usually cold and serious man had a brilliant sense of humour? "TEN!" they both shouted.

Tyson was growing concerned. Kai was sitting on twenty points already and he had none. "What's brown and sticky?... A STICK!" Once again Tyson failed to impress.

"Is that all your tiny brain can master? Here's my next one. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was inTENTS."

Once again, Rei and Max were doubled over in laughter. "I can hardly breathe..." Rei said, gasping for air. His face was bright red and tears were streaming out of his eyes.

Max too found it difficult to breath. His sides were sore from laughing too much, but it didn't look like the jokes were ending anytime too soon. Kai was enjoying the utter look of frustration on Tyson's face. He might be a champion beyblader, but he wasn't a comedian. "How many letters are in the alphabet? Twenty four because ET went home."

"That one was slightly better, but not by much," Rei said.

"Yeah, you're going to have to work much harder Tyson in the future if you want to impress and make people laugh," added Max.

Kai decided it was time to kick it up a notch. "Two blondes are sitting on a beach in California, looking up at the moon. The first blonde says, 'which do you think is closer, the moon or Florida?' and the second blond says, 'the moon, DUH. You can't even see Florida!" That joke had Rei and Max rolling around on the floor, pounding the ground with their fists. Even a few laughs escaped from Kenny. He had to admit; it was a good joke.

Tyson raised both his hands in the air signifying defeat. He hung his head in shame. "I lose, you are better than me at joke telling Kai." There was no way he could come up with something better.

The words Tyson said were sweeter than the actual feeling of victory itself. Kai clapped Tyson on the back. "Better luck next time." He headed back to the kitchen to get more pizza.

Kenny removed his rubbish bag. Thankfully, no pizzas were thrown. Kai returned, grabbed the remote and turned the television on. The boys ate their pizzas in peace as they watched the infomercials channel. What a night it had been.

.

First one shot to make up for the stories I have taken down. I hope you enjoyed the complete utter randomness of it all. As always, reviews are much appreciated!


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